In our daily lives, we often need to get along with people and to maintain good relationships with them. Maintaining relations should be easy once you have laid the foundations of a good relationship. Following are some points we should do to obtain and maintain good relationships:

Avoid Selfishness, be large hearted and kind

This might sound easy or Not, as there is ego in every human being which makes us behave selfishly most of the times. But, kindness is also inside every heart and at the same time there is always blockage whenever we would like to do good things in life. The only solution is to make this a must do, which means force yourself to do good things even when your heart says no. By doing this, being kind will soon be a habit and once this is done, you don’t have to worry about being selfish.

Speak to others on you would like to be spoken to

Any other hurt will heal with proper medicine and time, but the hurt inflicted by undue criticism, rough words and sarcastic remarks, showing ill will, goes a long way in creating a bad taste in relationships. Everyone has a soft tongue so we can use it carefully and softly. Pay compliments to people as generously as possible. Have a genuine interest in people and you will see the difference. Put your thoughts in order before you start to speak and make the best use of your speech.

Respect the feelings of others

As a human being, you deserve good treatment, so why not extend similar treatment to others. This is the simplest way to communicate that you care for them. Just like us, others have emotions which makes them thankful due to our good behavior.

Develop a sense of humor

As you all might already know, sense of humor works wonders. Even a grave situation can be transformed into a comfortable one with careful thought. Everyone is bent with personal worries and therefore seeks for laughter wherever they go to overcome their tense for a second and smile. The more you make people smile, the better relation you have with them. Bringing a smile to someone may come as a rescue, and if someone is able to solve problems with your help, he or she will always be obliged to you.

Keep your temper in check

Anger is the enemy of good relationship. We have to be alert about this when we are in distress. Nothing is so urgent that one has to react immediately. Often it is good to delay one’s reactions so that one gets the right perspective to deal with the matter. Remember, you may have to collect some information or facts first before judging things. A peaceful and calm mind has the best capacity to give a correct response. Forget any grudge you might feel justified in holding against a person or it will disturb you throughout, even with your relations with others. Get rid of your personal bias and emotions before communicating with others in order to make sure you have a good attitude.

Understand others and be a good listener

Listening is an art. To be able to understand others you need to listen. When you think and listen, it helps you to give the right response. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is using the ear to get the content of any communication, while listening suggests full concentration and hearing with a mind that is fully occupied with the job of receiving a communication. Many times we here the problems of communications, and the blame is always on the people who sends the message, the truth is the blame is on the people who receives the message. If only the listening was done with interest, if only while listening we didn’t jump into the conclusion, then there would never be miscommunication. People like being heard. Don’t do all the talking yourself since others are waiting for a chance to express themselves.

Live to give

You cannot be happy without making others happy. Over time, we sometimes receive help and at other times give it. In this case, why don’t you prioritize giving? Giving is not hard to do. A simple hug to some one who needs can be a huge thing. A simple smile can be precious; a simple word of appreciation can motivate one a lot. Practice this wherever you are, and best things will come back to you. Good relationships are very easy to have once people have the character of giving. Please always think how you can provide things to others, instead of questioning what others have done for you. You don’t always get the reward from the person you gave, but some how it comes back to you in a different manner and rewards you a million times more than what you have done. Even if some times you have to give despite of losing the credit that you earned, do it. This will also overcome your selfishness and make you a better human being.

Taken from many sources.

By : Shashi Mulani

Arjuna Magazine Vol X

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